Life gets in the Way

    

Hello Friends,

     It has certainly been a while. I'm currently working on my second semester of college. It has not been an easy feat. Juggling work life, home life, and school life, has been a real struggle. I gained extra support from a family member, but lost support from some friends due to job changes, life changes, etc. As they say, "the show must go on". I'm happy that my children and my boyfriend have adjusted pretty well to my new education choice. This semester, I have taken on 4 classes compared to just 2 last semester. Sometimes, I even notice that it doesn't seem like I'm home as often as I'd like to be. At times, I feel like I am behind in completing my work for these classes, but by the grace of God, it seems like I am always able to catch up.

     Although, at times, I certainly question myself and wonder what I was thinking by making this decision in the first place, I know it's the right choice and a good choice because I see a difference in the increased enthusiasm for learning that my children have. I'm so very glad I could be the one to set the example for them. Before starting school, I was feeling a little unfulfilled in my job. I work at a small hospital, even though it's owned by a much larger hospital system, there is no room within my department and my position for advancement. Soon I'll have to make a decision about that. I'm comfortable now, but I know that I can do better and deserve better. I will eventually have to get uncomfortable to become comfortable in a better opportunity to advance myself in my career.

     In talking about careers, I'm excited to say that I've picked a major that I think will be an interesting match for me. I've decided to pursue a degree in psychology. For years, random strangers have felt comfortable talking to me about random to very personal things. It doesn't matter where I am. I've been on bus stops, in the laudromat, at events, and random strangers will start talking to me about whatever is bothering them. It used to drive me crazy at first, but I eventually realized that it's my God given talent. In case you don't know, this is a talent that comes naturally. It's not something you really have to work at, but you can enhance it if you'd like to help others with it, which is what I'd like to do.

   

 I believe everyone has something that they are naturally good at, and God has given them this ability to live their life on purpose and by purpose. By obtaining and embracing your purpose, you will also help others do the same. I guess this is kind of my mission statement in life. Once I figured this out about myself, it seemed like doors of positivity began opening everywhere. I will continue to remain excited about the possibilities coming my way and hope you do the same. Until next time, remember, someone believes in you.


 

Valuing Yourself In Relationships

     One of the resolutions I made for this New Year is to place more value on myself. I've never had low self esteem, but I'm very guilty of giving my all to people and things that don't deserve my time. There is nothing worst than investing in someone or something and later finding out or feeling like it was a waste. The only thing that you can always take away from a disappointment like this is that there was a lesson to be learned. 

     Recently, I had to let someone go, Yes, essentially, I fired that person from my life. It may not be long term, but when someone is not moving in the direction you're moving in, it can hold you back. To live up to your full potential, at times, you will need to take inventory of things and people in your life. To become accepting of  the value within yourself and accepting of other people, you have to decide whether or not a situation or relationship is making you feel good. Yes, all relationships have ups and downs. I'm not saying as soon as you outgrow a person to get rid of them. You have to be vocal about your direction. Give them time to catch up or acknowledge that things have changed. Hear the person out and see if common ground can be agreed upon. If not, be prepared to move forward, knowing that a chance was given. If it is meant to be, maybe it can be reconciled later.

    

      Life is very interesting. A fulfilling life is one filled with constant change. It's the only way to learn how to adapt and grow. Without change life would be pretty boring. When it comes to valuing yourself in relationships, consider many things. Set boundaries, set deal breakers, try to communicate well, be open to working out conflicts, acknowledge feelings, apologize when you're wrong, and, most important of all, know when to quit. Stay true to yourself and notice the little things. If you notice that there are more sad moments than happy moments when dealing with someone, it's time for a change. All relationships take work and time to build, but build on a strong foundation. If a relationship is shaky from the start, it most likely will be shaky throughout the life of the relationship. When people show you that they are a certain way, believe them. If the way that they are does not fit with your personality and the lifestyle you want to live, you may have to move on. Be ok with that. Everyone you start with will not be there at the finish line!

Here's some Josietips to help you in any relationship:

• Set clear boundaries. Know and communicate what you will and will not accept. Be realistic.

• Know what a deal breaker will be for you. Know when to walk away. Do not allow people to wreak havoc in your life.

• If a person shows their true colors, believe them. Actions always speak louder than words. Certain behaviors are instilled in people. Them wanting to be better has to coincide with actions toward becoming better. They have to want it for themselves.

• Be clear within yourself as to what you'd like to gain from a relationship. For example, if you're not an outgoing, becoming friends with a person who is outgoing may open you up to more situations where you can break out of your shell. Or if you'd like to become an entrepreneur, choose people who are entrepreneurs to gain knowledge and access opportunities.

• Communicate as openly and as honestly as possible. Misunderstandings are common when dealing with people who have different personalities. Sometimes dating and friendships bring us opposites of ourselves. Communicating regularly is the only way to successfully keep it afloat.

• Acknowledge feelings. Whether you understand or not, if the other person tells you they're hurting from something you did, try to see it from their point of view. Be supportive and attentive. Feelings are delicate. A wrong move can end an otherwise meaningful relationship.
  

• Apologize and mean it. Don't be stubborn. Ego is the downfall of most relationships. Work deliberately to not repeat the actions that caused a misunderstanding. Place value on yourself and the relationship. If it's worth it, work hard on keeping it.

• Move on, if needed. If a relationship is meant to be, it will happen. 

Returning to School

This can be a very scary thing to think about. It took a long time for me to make the decision to return to school. As an adult, there are already lots of stresses. Between raising children, if you have them, paying bills, working, and keeping relationships going, who has time to add one more thing? Those things already take up A LOT of time. Throw in owning a network marketing business too. I thought that I was already stretched to the max, but I felt like I was finally ready. For me, it wasn't a matter of getting a degree to help gain a new job. The reason I went back to school is because I was becoming bored with life. I wanted to set an example for my children. Most of all I wanted to prove to myself that I could do it. Education has always been emphasized as being important in my family. I went to college, initially, when I graduated high school, but didn't finish.  I decided that if I'm going to be preaching education to my children, they have to see me completing the journey. After all, we can't all be reality show stars.

I enrolled at Baltimore County Community College in Essex (http://www.ccbcmd.edu/) for Fall semester 2015.  
   

 I must say, I did pretty well for myself. I started off by enrolling part time. I wanted to make sure that I would be able to handle all of my regular duties as well as my academic duties. I ended the semester with a 4.0 GPA and acceptance into the Honors program. This came with hard work, lots of studying, missing sleep at times, and some sacrifices on my family's part. I feel good about my decision so far and am excited about the Spring semester starting in February! Wish me luck.

 Here's some Josie Tips on returning to school:

• Before making a decision, evaluate your lifestyle. Have a conversation with family and friends you may need to depend on during your academic career. Set clear goals and make sure everyone is on board. Let them know what they can do to help. Most of them will be happy to provide some type of support. 

• Choose your learning style. I chose to do on campus learning in a classroom setting, but many people choose online learning first. See what's offered at the location you choose to go to. Sometimes combination classes are offered where you can do online and classroom on certain days.           

• Start part-time. Don't overwhelm yourself by jumping in over your head. Try one or two classes to see if you can handle the workload. Then gradually add a class  or two each semester, provided it does not interfere with your work schedule.

• Apply for funding. Usually, I'm one of those people who never qualify for any programs. I applied any way and found that this was a program I qualified for. A pell grant through financial aid paid for my classes and I was able to learn without financial stress. Also, don't forget to apply for scholarships. Lots of them are offered by local businesses, local delegates, alumni, and the college/university itself.

• Find a quiet place. Whether it is at work, home, the library, or your car, find a place that you can routinely go to for studying, writing, and completing assignments. Set aside time for school work. The best thing to do is start early and study regularly.

•  Make a decision! No matter what, do not stop until you finish your program or degree. Meet with advisors. Make yourself known to your professors. Participate in discussions in class and school events, if possible. Check to see if there are groups on campus to support students in your position. If not, it's always possible to create one.

• Stay positive! Ask questions. Professors usually have office, email, and/or phone hours. Please take advantage. It is the not the professor's intent to fail a student. If you fell like you are not grasping the concept of the class, ask for help! 

• Have fun! Enjoy your classes. See what you can take away from them and apply to life. The most interesting thing I found is that most of the classes seemed to connect to each other in some way and I was able to apply certain things to my lifestyle. Be open to the experience. You will experience fear, stress, and, hopefully, triumph. Embrace this new step forward in your life.

Clearing Out the Clutter

You brought in another year! Give yourself a hand! So now what? You have a whole new year ahead of you. Time to live a new life, jet set, remove negativity, overhaul and re-arrange. But how? Take some time to meditate on this question for a minute or two.



Here's some Josie Tips to get you started:

• Evaluate----what can stand an overhaul? Your relationships, your home, your job, you?

• Figure out an end result. What do you want to have accomplished from this change?

• Make a plan. Write out what you want to do.

• Every plan/goal can be accomplished. Take baby steps. What is the first step that needs to be made in order to fulfill the first part of the plan? Check it off when done.

• Have fun. Don't be hard on yourself when a goal isn't created by the date you set. Sometimes this happens. All that really matters is that you reach the goal no matter what!

Will This Be a New Year For You?

Let's Make This New Year Count!

  So, we all usually do the same thing. We make New Year's resolutions with the best hopes in mind and by the 2nd week of January most have already been forgotten or we've given up. Not this year, let's try something different. How about some realistic resolutions this year? What? Aren't they always realistic? Well, not exactly! This year, let's think about not trying to change our mate in our relationship or focus on trying to get a mate, for that matter. Let's not say that we're going to lose 50 pounds and keep our snack weaknesses around. Let's work on ourselves and our mindsets! Why don't we try to live more this year?  
This means, start saving for, or take that trip you've been wanting to take. Lose the weight you've been trying to lose, but start small and work your way up. Quit being so hard on yourself, but don't refuse to give up on your goals. Everything you want can and will be accomplished if you decide to claim it. You just have to decide what you may have to risk to go after it. Anything worth going after takes risk and sacrifice. My sincere wish and prayer is that everyone finds what they are looking for this year. Most of all, remember to love yourself, enjoy life and have fun. Laugh when you're having the worst day. Find the sun through the rain. Live when it seems impossible! I believe in you!

Here's some Josie Tips for setting realistic goals:

• Start with a small, easy goal to accomplish and move up. (Example, try to lose 5 pounds first, once that is done, you can see where your weaknesses were and adjust accordingly. Being healthy is a lifestyle choice. Don't make this a goal to be accomplished in a few weeks or month. Make it an overall goal to be met by the end of the year and then for a lifetime.)

• What ever may have been going wrong this past year, may have been a result of poor choices on your part. Don't dwell on your mistakes. Choose to do better. Remember the mistakes, move on from them, but don't repeat them. 

• Love Yourself!!!!!!! Sometimes this is hard to remember. Especially if you're like me. You do for everyone else, but who helps you? Remember to love yourself. When people or situations aren't treating you the way YOU THINK you deserve to be treated, lose them. It's not worth losing love for yourself. 

•  Enjoy yourself! Enjoy life! Learn to say "SO WHAT", this year. You didn't get that promotion you wanted. Your finances weren't where you wanted them. You lost a lot. Guess what, you're still standing! You're still here! Say SO WHAT! NEXT!

• Seek out your purpose! I've realized since I was a little girl, that I was put here to help people in some way. Every job I've had in my life so far, has done just that. Total strangers often feel comfortable talking to me wherever I am about anything. That's not a coincidence! Start noticing the signs of your purpose. What comes to you naturally? What happens in your life regularly without you trying? What kind of people seem to be drawn to you?

• Create a vision board. Not exactly sure how to get to what you want, but know what you want? It's called the Law of Attraction. Create a board of pictures with the lifestyle and dreams you want to experience. It may not happen today, maybe not even tomorrow, but it WILL happen. Just believe in yourself!

     

Netflix and Chill?

So, I'm a self described independent woman! (That usually means doing stuff on your own, even if you have help.)
Yes, I'm in a relationship, but that doesn't mean you become something other than what you have always been or what you were taught to be. I am a mother. A really good mother, if I must say so myself. Lol. In society's mindset, that means always doing for your kids and family, never taking time for yourself.                              
Well, it took me a long time to realize that society's view and my view NEEDED to be different. Society will have you looking tired and running ragged and quite honestly, I'm too fly for that. I love my children and family. They will always get what they need from me, but not at my expense. That may sound harsh, but I learned that if you take care of yourself, everyone else will be alright! It's just like flying instructions.
I'm not saying this in a selfish way, but you have to take care of your own health, mentally and physically before you can start devoting yourself to anyone else. Too many times, do women give their lives to a cause such as a relationship, work, their children, etc., only to find that once that cause has been fulfilled, their lives seem to feel incomplete. I had to learn to start balancing things. At first, I used to feel guilty when I would come home from work tired and the kids would want my time. I was exhausted, but they didn't know that. Due to independent woman syndrome, I would try to do what they wanted or needed and I would be worn out, only to repeat the same cycle the next day. Sometimes, I would feel cranky and fuss at them or my boyfriend and they had no clue why I was really fussing. I realized that things had to change. In order for them to be happy, I had to be happier. That doesn't mean I walked around singing songs and smiling at everything. Happiness is different for everyone. For me, I often felt under appreciated or not appreciated at all. No one, including my family realized how much responsibility was on my plate. I had to create my own moments of happiness.

Here's a few "Josie Tips" on how to create moments of happiness for yourself:

• Take a 10 minute time out. (You know that feeling when everything seems overwhelming and you have no idea how you will do it all? Yup, that's a good time.) Do your nails, take a 10 minute walk, take deep breaths, meditate, read some inspirational quotes, write in a journal.

• If possible, take naps. I know it seems silly, little kids do this, but statistics show that taking small naps every day improves your well being. 20-30 minutes recommended daily. (See link: https://sleepfoundation.org/sleep-topics/napping)

• Communicate to loved ones. This was hardest for me, but I found once I told them how I was feeling and what I was going through, some weight felt like it was lifted off of my shoulders. (Sometimes people truly don't understand until you explain it to them.)

• Do something nice for yourself regularly. Schedule a monthly spa treatment such as a massage or facial. Take a day trip with a loved one. Set aside "me" time daily, weekly, or monthly.

• Deviate from your schedule. If you're like me, having a routine means everything to you. It gets boring after a while. Switching it up sometimes, keeps things interesting.

• Understand that you are human! Even superwoman is affected by kryptonite. Shit happens and when it does, don't let it ruin your world. Take a moment, cry, get it out of your system and move forward. No matter what, KEEP MOVING FORWARD!