Valuing Yourself In Relationships

     One of the resolutions I made for this New Year is to place more value on myself. I've never had low self esteem, but I'm very guilty of giving my all to people and things that don't deserve my time. There is nothing worst than investing in someone or something and later finding out or feeling like it was a waste. The only thing that you can always take away from a disappointment like this is that there was a lesson to be learned. 

     Recently, I had to let someone go, Yes, essentially, I fired that person from my life. It may not be long term, but when someone is not moving in the direction you're moving in, it can hold you back. To live up to your full potential, at times, you will need to take inventory of things and people in your life. To become accepting of  the value within yourself and accepting of other people, you have to decide whether or not a situation or relationship is making you feel good. Yes, all relationships have ups and downs. I'm not saying as soon as you outgrow a person to get rid of them. You have to be vocal about your direction. Give them time to catch up or acknowledge that things have changed. Hear the person out and see if common ground can be agreed upon. If not, be prepared to move forward, knowing that a chance was given. If it is meant to be, maybe it can be reconciled later.

    

      Life is very interesting. A fulfilling life is one filled with constant change. It's the only way to learn how to adapt and grow. Without change life would be pretty boring. When it comes to valuing yourself in relationships, consider many things. Set boundaries, set deal breakers, try to communicate well, be open to working out conflicts, acknowledge feelings, apologize when you're wrong, and, most important of all, know when to quit. Stay true to yourself and notice the little things. If you notice that there are more sad moments than happy moments when dealing with someone, it's time for a change. All relationships take work and time to build, but build on a strong foundation. If a relationship is shaky from the start, it most likely will be shaky throughout the life of the relationship. When people show you that they are a certain way, believe them. If the way that they are does not fit with your personality and the lifestyle you want to live, you may have to move on. Be ok with that. Everyone you start with will not be there at the finish line!

Here's some Josietips to help you in any relationship:

• Set clear boundaries. Know and communicate what you will and will not accept. Be realistic.

• Know what a deal breaker will be for you. Know when to walk away. Do not allow people to wreak havoc in your life.

• If a person shows their true colors, believe them. Actions always speak louder than words. Certain behaviors are instilled in people. Them wanting to be better has to coincide with actions toward becoming better. They have to want it for themselves.

• Be clear within yourself as to what you'd like to gain from a relationship. For example, if you're not an outgoing, becoming friends with a person who is outgoing may open you up to more situations where you can break out of your shell. Or if you'd like to become an entrepreneur, choose people who are entrepreneurs to gain knowledge and access opportunities.

• Communicate as openly and as honestly as possible. Misunderstandings are common when dealing with people who have different personalities. Sometimes dating and friendships bring us opposites of ourselves. Communicating regularly is the only way to successfully keep it afloat.

• Acknowledge feelings. Whether you understand or not, if the other person tells you they're hurting from something you did, try to see it from their point of view. Be supportive and attentive. Feelings are delicate. A wrong move can end an otherwise meaningful relationship.
  

• Apologize and mean it. Don't be stubborn. Ego is the downfall of most relationships. Work deliberately to not repeat the actions that caused a misunderstanding. Place value on yourself and the relationship. If it's worth it, work hard on keeping it.

• Move on, if needed. If a relationship is meant to be, it will happen.