Yes, I'm in a relationship, but that doesn't mean you become something other than what you have always been or what you were taught to be. I am a mother. A really good mother, if I must say so myself. Lol. In society's mindset, that means always doing for your kids and family, never taking time for yourself. 
Well, it took me a long time to realize that society's view and my view NEEDED to be different. Society will have you looking tired and running ragged and quite honestly, I'm too fly for that. I love my children and family. They will always get what they need from me, but not at my expense. That may sound harsh, but I learned that if you take care of yourself, everyone else will be alright! It's just like flying instructions.
I'm not saying this in a selfish way, but you have to take care of your own health, mentally and physically before you can start devoting yourself to anyone else. Too many times, do women give their lives to a cause such as a relationship, work, their children, etc., only to find that once that cause has been fulfilled, their lives seem to feel incomplete. I had to learn to start balancing things. At first, I used to feel guilty when I would come home from work tired and the kids would want my time. I was exhausted, but they didn't know that. Due to independent woman syndrome, I would try to do what they wanted or needed and I would be worn out, only to repeat the same cycle the next day. Sometimes, I would feel cranky and fuss at them or my boyfriend and they had no clue why I was really fussing. I realized that things had to change. In order for them to be happy, I had to be happier. That doesn't mean I walked around singing songs and smiling at everything. Happiness is different for everyone. For me, I often felt under appreciated or not appreciated at all. No one, including my family realized how much responsibility was on my plate. I had to create my own moments of happiness.
Here's a few "Josie Tips" on how to create moments of happiness for yourself:
- Take a 10 minute time out. (You know that feeling when everything seems overwhelming and you have no idea how you will do it all? Yup, that's a good time.) Do your nails, take a 10 minute walk, take deep breaths, meditate, read some inspirational quotes, write in a journal.
- If possible, take naps. I know it seems silly, little kids do this, but statistics show that taking small naps every day improves your well being. 20-30 minutes recommended daily. (See link: https://sleepfoundation.org/sleep-topics/napping)
- Communicate to loved ones. This was hardest for me, but I found once I told them how I was feeling and what I was going through, some weight felt like it was lifted off of my shoulders. (Sometimes people truly don't understand until you explain it to them.)
- Do something nice for yourself regularly. Schedule a monthly spa treatment such as a massage or facial. Take a day trip with a loved one. Set aside "me" time daily, weekly, or monthly.
- Deviate from your schedule. If you're like me, having a routine means everything to you. It gets boring after a while. Switching it up sometimes, keeps things interesting.
- Understand that you are human! Even superwoman is affected by kryptonite. Shit happens and when it does, don't let it ruin your world. Take a moment, cry, get it out of your system and move forward. No matter what, KEEP MOVING FORWARD!
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