Valuing Yourself In Relationships

     One of the resolutions I made for this New Year is to place more value on myself. I've never had low self esteem, but I'm very guilty of giving my all to people and things that don't deserve my time. There is nothing worst than investing in someone or something and later finding out or feeling like it was a waste. The only thing that you can always take away from a disappointment like this is that there was a lesson to be learned. 

     Recently, I had to let someone go, Yes, essentially, I fired that person from my life. It may not be long term, but when someone is not moving in the direction you're moving in, it can hold you back. To live up to your full potential, at times, you will need to take inventory of things and people in your life. To become accepting of  the value within yourself and accepting of other people, you have to decide whether or not a situation or relationship is making you feel good. Yes, all relationships have ups and downs. I'm not saying as soon as you outgrow a person to get rid of them. You have to be vocal about your direction. Give them time to catch up or acknowledge that things have changed. Hear the person out and see if common ground can be agreed upon. If not, be prepared to move forward, knowing that a chance was given. If it is meant to be, maybe it can be reconciled later.

    

      Life is very interesting. A fulfilling life is one filled with constant change. It's the only way to learn how to adapt and grow. Without change life would be pretty boring. When it comes to valuing yourself in relationships, consider many things. Set boundaries, set deal breakers, try to communicate well, be open to working out conflicts, acknowledge feelings, apologize when you're wrong, and, most important of all, know when to quit. Stay true to yourself and notice the little things. If you notice that there are more sad moments than happy moments when dealing with someone, it's time for a change. All relationships take work and time to build, but build on a strong foundation. If a relationship is shaky from the start, it most likely will be shaky throughout the life of the relationship. When people show you that they are a certain way, believe them. If the way that they are does not fit with your personality and the lifestyle you want to live, you may have to move on. Be ok with that. Everyone you start with will not be there at the finish line!

Here's some Josietips to help you in any relationship:

• Set clear boundaries. Know and communicate what you will and will not accept. Be realistic.

• Know what a deal breaker will be for you. Know when to walk away. Do not allow people to wreak havoc in your life.

• If a person shows their true colors, believe them. Actions always speak louder than words. Certain behaviors are instilled in people. Them wanting to be better has to coincide with actions toward becoming better. They have to want it for themselves.

• Be clear within yourself as to what you'd like to gain from a relationship. For example, if you're not an outgoing, becoming friends with a person who is outgoing may open you up to more situations where you can break out of your shell. Or if you'd like to become an entrepreneur, choose people who are entrepreneurs to gain knowledge and access opportunities.

• Communicate as openly and as honestly as possible. Misunderstandings are common when dealing with people who have different personalities. Sometimes dating and friendships bring us opposites of ourselves. Communicating regularly is the only way to successfully keep it afloat.

• Acknowledge feelings. Whether you understand or not, if the other person tells you they're hurting from something you did, try to see it from their point of view. Be supportive and attentive. Feelings are delicate. A wrong move can end an otherwise meaningful relationship.
  

• Apologize and mean it. Don't be stubborn. Ego is the downfall of most relationships. Work deliberately to not repeat the actions that caused a misunderstanding. Place value on yourself and the relationship. If it's worth it, work hard on keeping it.

• Move on, if needed. If a relationship is meant to be, it will happen. 

Returning to School

This can be a very scary thing to think about. It took a long time for me to make the decision to return to school. As an adult, there are already lots of stresses. Between raising children, if you have them, paying bills, working, and keeping relationships going, who has time to add one more thing? Those things already take up A LOT of time. Throw in owning a network marketing business too. I thought that I was already stretched to the max, but I felt like I was finally ready. For me, it wasn't a matter of getting a degree to help gain a new job. The reason I went back to school is because I was becoming bored with life. I wanted to set an example for my children. Most of all I wanted to prove to myself that I could do it. Education has always been emphasized as being important in my family. I went to college, initially, when I graduated high school, but didn't finish.  I decided that if I'm going to be preaching education to my children, they have to see me completing the journey. After all, we can't all be reality show stars.

I enrolled at Baltimore County Community College in Essex (http://www.ccbcmd.edu/) for Fall semester 2015.  
   

 I must say, I did pretty well for myself. I started off by enrolling part time. I wanted to make sure that I would be able to handle all of my regular duties as well as my academic duties. I ended the semester with a 4.0 GPA and acceptance into the Honors program. This came with hard work, lots of studying, missing sleep at times, and some sacrifices on my family's part. I feel good about my decision so far and am excited about the Spring semester starting in February! Wish me luck.

 Here's some Josie Tips on returning to school:

• Before making a decision, evaluate your lifestyle. Have a conversation with family and friends you may need to depend on during your academic career. Set clear goals and make sure everyone is on board. Let them know what they can do to help. Most of them will be happy to provide some type of support. 

• Choose your learning style. I chose to do on campus learning in a classroom setting, but many people choose online learning first. See what's offered at the location you choose to go to. Sometimes combination classes are offered where you can do online and classroom on certain days.           

• Start part-time. Don't overwhelm yourself by jumping in over your head. Try one or two classes to see if you can handle the workload. Then gradually add a class  or two each semester, provided it does not interfere with your work schedule.

• Apply for funding. Usually, I'm one of those people who never qualify for any programs. I applied any way and found that this was a program I qualified for. A pell grant through financial aid paid for my classes and I was able to learn without financial stress. Also, don't forget to apply for scholarships. Lots of them are offered by local businesses, local delegates, alumni, and the college/university itself.

• Find a quiet place. Whether it is at work, home, the library, or your car, find a place that you can routinely go to for studying, writing, and completing assignments. Set aside time for school work. The best thing to do is start early and study regularly.

•  Make a decision! No matter what, do not stop until you finish your program or degree. Meet with advisors. Make yourself known to your professors. Participate in discussions in class and school events, if possible. Check to see if there are groups on campus to support students in your position. If not, it's always possible to create one.

• Stay positive! Ask questions. Professors usually have office, email, and/or phone hours. Please take advantage. It is the not the professor's intent to fail a student. If you fell like you are not grasping the concept of the class, ask for help! 

• Have fun! Enjoy your classes. See what you can take away from them and apply to life. The most interesting thing I found is that most of the classes seemed to connect to each other in some way and I was able to apply certain things to my lifestyle. Be open to the experience. You will experience fear, stress, and, hopefully, triumph. Embrace this new step forward in your life.

Clearing Out the Clutter

You brought in another year! Give yourself a hand! So now what? You have a whole new year ahead of you. Time to live a new life, jet set, remove negativity, overhaul and re-arrange. But how? Take some time to meditate on this question for a minute or two.



Here's some Josie Tips to get you started:

• Evaluate----what can stand an overhaul? Your relationships, your home, your job, you?

• Figure out an end result. What do you want to have accomplished from this change?

• Make a plan. Write out what you want to do.

• Every plan/goal can be accomplished. Take baby steps. What is the first step that needs to be made in order to fulfill the first part of the plan? Check it off when done.

• Have fun. Don't be hard on yourself when a goal isn't created by the date you set. Sometimes this happens. All that really matters is that you reach the goal no matter what!